


Chasing Pavements

by Lost_xoxo



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst and Feels, ChanHun, Feelings Realization, Friends With Benefits, M/M, Mpreg, SeYeol, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-15
Updated: 2019-01-15
Packaged: 2019-10-09 16:25:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17410250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_xoxo/pseuds/Lost_xoxo
Summary: Sehun keeps deluding himself that his relationship with Chanyeol isn’t just platonic.





	Chasing Pavements

Sehun watches the sleeping man beside him with an enthralled gaze, leathery black strands flopping over his face, he looks even younger up close, long eyelashes fluttering gently, plump lips slightly parted.

 

“ _I_ _love_ _you_ ” he murmurs in mere whisper making sure Chanyeol doesn’t hear him.

 

Sehun wants to rest his head on the planes of Chanyeol’s muscular chest and lose himself in the rhythm of his heartbeat wrapped around in his strong arms. The ache of longing to be with him echoes thorough his body even though he is just an inch away, he knows how far apart they are.

 

“What are you doing?” Chanyeol asks in a gruff voice squinting, finding Sehun’s body pressed close to him.

“Nothing...I didn’t mean to wake you up” 

“Well you did” Chanyeol replies flatly rubbing his eyes.

Sehun licks his lips “Sorry”, clumsily he tries to move away but Chanyeol grabs his arms in a tight grip. 

He immediately flops him down on the other side

Sehun leans back on his elbows while Chanyeol climbs on top straddling him.

“Il make sure you waking me up is worth it...” Chanyeol’s lip quirk in a sly smile as he trails his tongue alongSehun’s neck, ending with small but tugging bites on one of his nipples, then he starts biting the other nipple and Sehun shudders and lets out a hot breath in anticipation.

Chanyeol grabs his thighs spreading his legs as wide as he can, he looks down with dark gaze admiring Sehun’s sprawled body underneath waiting for him, while his hand fumbles through the contents on top of the bedside table with impatience, dropping stuff on the floor carelessly until he finds the bottle of lube.

After slicking up his fingers at first he only pushes one finger then adds up to three, at this point Sehun is already a whimpering mess clutching onto the bed sheet, Chanyeol relishes the sight with a content grin on his face.

“Please” Sehun whines in need with a flushed face.

“You seem eager” Chanyeol teases his voice low and deep.

Rolling on the condom Chanyeol settles himself in position in between Sehun’s legs, giving his ass a generous squeeze he buries himself inside of him drawing out a long moan from Sehun’s mouth, loving the feeling of tight muscles clenching around him.

Sehun reaches out for Chanyeol silently begging him to move as his hands roaming around everywhere, light touches along his jutting collarbones, stomach, grabbing his arms with frantic fingers’s for support. 

Feeling the warmth radiating inside Chanyeol starts moving he drags his hips up and again to slowly push back down until he finds a steady rhythm his eyes fixated on Sehun’s face and his tongue which slightly peaks out of his trembling mouth. 

Sehun’s head rocks back against the pillow as desperate moans escape his lips, slowly the room fills up with the soft sunlight and sound of rustling sheets, body slapping against each other and pleasured groans.

With a few more thrusts, when orgasm rolls through them, Sehun arches his back as he sees star bursting behind his eyes, with a last cry Chanyeol bends forward biting down on his collarbone as he comes inside of Sehun.

Chanyeol slips out of him after a few seconds inspite of Sehun’s slight pleading, he peels off the condom and throws it inside the bin and walks off towards the washroom sighing Sehun closes his eyes tiredly resting his head on the pillow 

   

“Can we have breakfast?” Sehun asks knowing the answer that will follow with this question.

Chanyeol pulls the tshirt over his head, running fingers through his messy hair in an attempt to tame it, he turns around to look at Sehun, “Can’t, i am already running late for work”

Sehun nods looking away, was he surprised? No, mornings were always like this almost mechanical, cold and distant devoid of any warmth.

“Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol looks up from his phone, arching his eyebrow.

 _Stay_ _stay_ _stay_

“Nothing, see you latter” 

“Yah bye”

 

Sehun stands on the doorstep long after Chanyeol is gone...part of him expecting him to comeback. But that is just one his many fantasies where they are happy together, where Chanyeol doesn’t leave in the morning instead pulls him closer telling Sehun how much he loves him. 

....

“Chanyeol what are we?” Sehun asks staring at him who is lounging on the sofa with a take out in his hand. 

Chanyeol eyes still fixed on the tv, “What do you mean?” there is this casual ignorance in his voice that hurt Sehun more than Chanyeol’s obliviousness to the question. 

“You know what I mean? Us?” He wonders if there is even an ‘ _us_ ’ 

“Sehun is putting a label on everything necessary? Can’t we just be how we are right now?” Chanyeol is frowning at him, the chop stick twirling in his long fingers.

Maybe if Chanyeol had asked this a few months back Sehun would have been okay being whatever they are but not now. Because having feelings came with lot of questions, emotions and expectations. 

Sehun’s love for Chanyeol demands to have more than just a sexual fling, to be able to have it all with him and only him.

 

“I just thought maybe...” the words are all a jumbled up mess in the back of his throat afraid to fall out of his mouth. Sehun can’t drive him away.

“Maybe What? I can’t read your mind just say it?” Chanyeol asks with impatience.

 _We_ _could_ _be_ _together_  

“Maybe if we could spend more time together” Sehun replies hesitatingly.

“Sehun if you are expecting someone to bring you chocolate and flowers and serenade you am not the guy” Chanyeol shrugs nonchalantly his lips curving into a smile.

“I didn’t say that” Sehun doesn’t expect any of it, he just wants Chanyeol to understand what he feels for him. Maybe he is asking for too much?!

“Just come here and eat, the food is getting cold” Chanyeol points towards the plastic containers scattered on the table like it’s more important than the discussion. 

“Am not hungry, you can eat” Sehun mumbles swallowing the obvious tears that threatens to fall turning to the window, away from him. His appetite is gone. 

He blankly watches the crazy chaotic drops of rain hitting the glass, tracing his finger along the ones that races down faster leaving the other’s behind. 

 

“Sehun”

Sehun closes his eyes, he doesn’t want to think of Chanyeol staring at him right now, calling out for him, 

“Talk to me” Chanyeol’s deep voice is close, too close, his warm breath ghosting over his neck. 

Chanyeol grabs Sehun’s shoulder ushering to face him.

“Aren’t you happy with what we have?Because I am” Chanyeol speaks in a hushed tone leaning in he presses his lips on Sehun’s neck, with the warm touch all of his resistance crumble down. 

Sehun would probably laugh at his own vulnerability if he could, being in love just makes him _weaker_. 

Chanyeol moves his mouth from his neck to close it on Sehun’s, his tongue snaking into his parted lips making Sehun loose his rational thoughts as he wantonly moans into the kiss. 

Chanyeol knows how much power he has on Sehun and he never fails to take advantage of it. He smiles into the kiss when Sehun’s finger find their way in his hair. 

Sehun touches Chanyeol’s face lightly with his hands which then goes down to his chest, running his fingers all over the thin material of Chanyeol’s shirt feeling the taut muscles beneath.

 

Sehun pressed against the window, feels the bumps of the window frame digging onto his back, Chanyeol’s fingers traces the band of Sehun’s sweatpants teasingly, then slipping inside touching him gently before he holds his length firmly in his grasp stroking and massaging him, feeling it pulsating underneath his fingertips causing Sehun to whimper.

“Sehun” Chanyeol murmurs huskily in his ears, Sehun hates how much he loves hearing his name rolling off Chanyeol’s tongue so smoothly.

“I want you” Sehun breathes in gasping, He know’s Chanyeol is making him wait and he can hardly bare. 

With that in no time he gets stripped off his clothes which get thrown somewhere on the floor, Chanyeol uses his lube-slicked fingers to work him open, each and every molecule in Sehun’s being already craving for him. 

Sehun’s entire body goes slack with pleasure when Chanyeol plunges inside him. 

Chanyeol’s own skin gets covered in goosebumps and his face flushes as he rolls his hips harder into him causing Sehun’s toes to curl and his fingers grip on Chanyeol’s hips tighten. 

And he comes with Chanyeol’s name in his lips and his mind completely intoxicated in a heady trance with the sounds of Chanyeol’s release ringing into his ear.

Still panting he looks at Chanyeol’s face glistening with bead’s of sweat and his half lidded eyes staring right back at him. A small tired smile plays on his lips before he rests his forehead on Sehun’s chest. 

In that moment Sehun’s heart swells with love and he feels pure bliss consuming him closing his eyes listening to the gentle patter of the rain outside.

....

Sehun sits up rubbing his eyes, slowly getting himself upright he looks at the empty space beside which is still warm under his touch, Sehun wishes that Chanyeol would have at least let him know before leaving. 

Dragging out his sore and stiff body from the bed, a wave of nausea claws at his throat and  he runs to the bathroom.

Sehun wipes his mouth leaning on the wall until the queasiness slowly fades away he blames it on the alcohol he had last night.

 

....

 

Sehun feels thetouch of warm eager hands on his skin, he slowly opens his eyes to see Chanyeol’s face leaning over him. Sehun blinks a few more times mind still hazy from sleep, he knows that Chanyeol has a penchant for morning sex even he if ends up running late for work.

Last night Sehun had fallen asleep he feels too tired these days and Chanyeol hadn’t said anything but he didn’t leave either.

“Hey” Sehun speaks softly licking his lips as Chanyeol climbs on top of him, pressing his body on him, and Sehun instantly smiles knowing that Chanyeol wants him.

“Ummm..” Chanyeol moans as he slowly grinds his hips onto him, Sehun’s breath hitches as his body starts to respond with the growing friction through the thin material of their clothes.

“You are wearing too much” Chanyeol chuckles as he tugs on his boxers, Before Sehun can even reply his stomach turn’s unpleasantly, clamping a hand on his mouth he pushes Chanyeol off him.

“What?” The older asks startled sitting up right on the bed looking confused as he watches Sehun rushing out of the bed. 

Sehun’s knee wobbles as he walks back to the bedroom, his head dizzying.

Chanyeol hands him a bottle of water from the bedside table as Sehun slump down on the bed.

“Sorry. I suddenly felt sick” Sehun croaks, his voice feels scratchy as he swallows gulps of water

“Well I can see that...anyway take some rest”

Sehun knows from his tone he has ruined Chanyeol’s mood. 

“Will youcome over tonight?” Sehun glances up at him hopefully.

“We have a gig soon, so most probably il be heading to rehearsals after work” Chanyeol retorts as he starts dressing himself up. Which is the que that he is leaving.

“So I won’t see you the whole week?”

Sehun doesn’t know if it’s the nausea or just the thought of not being able to see Chanyeol makes his stomach contract.

“Il try to drop by, il text you”

 

....

 

After the whole week Sehun begins to wonder why the queasy feeling refused to leave, because he ends up puking his guts out every now and then. Even some of his coworkers starts to ask questions when he fails to keep anything down during the lunch time.

 

The stick slips out of his trembling fingers and lands on the ground. 

He had an inkling but he kept praying to god that he was wrong, that its just some bug he had caught or anything else but this. 

The two visible pink lines from the test laying on the ground glares back at him flooding his mind with an agonising terror. 

Breaking into a sob he sinks down on the cold tiles of one of the many cubicles in his office.

 

....

 

 **From** Sehun

 **To** Chanyeol

Can you come today?

 

Chanyeol can barely make any time for him these days, Sehun isn’t surprised he knows how much of a dedication he has towards his band and the upcoming gig is obviously very important but he can’t help but miss him. Chanyeol’s day job just consists of him helping out his dad in the store.

Sehun desperately keeps glancing at his phone for a reply. Not that he has any idea what to do or how to even break the news to him. 

How is he supposed to confront Chanyeol when he himself can’t seem to process it.

 

....

 

Somewhere in the evening Sehun had dozed off on the couch, hearing the suddenly knock he jolts up.

Sehun opens the door to Chanyeol standing with water dripping from his hair and running down to his face to his clothes which look semi wet. It’s been drizzling the whole day.  

“Are you okay?” Chanyeol asks as his eyes move over Sehun’s face.

Shakinghis head Sehun moves away slightly from the door biting on his lips, his body trembles as he feels the wave of emotions and fear crashing down on him.

Closing the door Chanyeol hugs him and Sehun lets himself cry uncontrollably in his hold. That’s when he realises that he needed him the most.

Chanyeol leads Sehun to the couch, even sitting down Sehun’s face nuzzled in his chest, the wet material of Chanyeol’s shirt bunches up in his hold in a desperate attempt to keep him close. 

Sehun looks up through bleary eyes to see Chanyeol’s slightly worried eyes fixed on him. 

“I had a really bad day....” Sehun lies as his insides knot probably a reminder of what he is supposed to say but the gentle expression playing on Chanyeol’s face causes all his words to die down in his threat. 

How can he ruin this when all he gets are a few moments of feeling like he is loved and cherished?

“It will be alright, don’t worry” Chanyeol murmurs as he kisses the top of his forehead.

“Chanyeol please don’t leave, stay with me tonight” 

For tonight Sehun wants to be selfish. 

 

....

 

Standing in front of the mirror Sehun runs a hand over the skin of his flat stomach, tears prick at the corner of his eyes knowing that there is a life growing inside of him and it feels so surreal. 

Hearing the bathroom door unlock he immediately turns around to see Chanyeol getting inside. 

“I was just going for a shower” 

Without answering Chanyeol starts taking off his clothes his eyes locked on Sehun the whole time. 

He takes a few step closer slowly making Sehun back away until his body is pressed to the cool white wall behind. 

Staring back at Chanyeol’s piercing gaze Sehun suddenly feels more naked and vulnerable than he already is. Chanyeol leans over, placing his palm on either side of Sehun’s head caging him within.

Chanyeol’s breath ticking on his skin, Sehun starts to feel anxious as his new emotions  play with his heart.

He flutters his eyes shut when Chanyeol captures his mouth in his own in a languid kiss, the usual urgency and intensity is missing, instead Chanyeol’s lips move slowly and softly along with his, Sehun realises he has never been kissed like this before.

“I have missed this” Chanyeol murmurs huskily into his ear and just his voice making Sehun want to give in. 

 _I_ _have_ _missed_ _you_

“Bedroom” Sehun gasps as Chanyeol’s cold fingers trace circles on the outline of his hips. 

“I want you, now” Chanyeol answers firmly

 _Why_ _can’t_ _it_ _just_ _be_ _i_ _want_ _you_? 

Sehuh cries out in pain as Chanyeol pushes himself inside of him without any preparation, Chanyeol immediately latches his mouth on him as he waits for Sehun to adjust, after a few seconds Sehun nods as the pain slowly dulls away and Chanyeol starts dipping in and out of him.

Sehun hooks his leg on to Chanyeol’s waist and his nails dig into his pale skin his other hand tangles into Chanyeol’s hair kneading through the softness. 

Their moans turn into shameless wails as the thrusts speed up and the pleasure surges through their body. “Fuck” Chanyeol groans tossing his head back slightly at the sensation of Sehun’s teeth grazing hisneck and sucking a bruise on his skin.

With Chanyeol rocking his hips Sehun’s mind becomes intoxicated he feels like they can’t move even if they try to their bodies are tied by invisible threads.

As they climax, Sehun collapses in Chanyeol’s hold, his legs give out in pleasure and his body goes lax, Chanyeol wraps his arms around him letting Sehun bury his face on his chest.

They stay like this for awhile, even in the sticky mess Sehun savours the moment of their bodies pressed together in pure coital bliss and warmth.

 

“Let’s get cleaned up” Chanyeol finally coaxes into his ear as if to wake him up from his slumber.

Sehun nods his head in slightly. The moment they disengage he instantly holds on to Chanyeol’s arm to keep his quivering body still.

Chanyeol pulls him underneath the shower, Sehun watches the water running down the contours of the muscles of Chanyeol’s lean body, not being able to get enough of him, Sehun’s hands close around his neck bringing him down for a kiss tasting the water as their tongues caress each other.

 

....

 

Sleepily Sehun glances at the bedside clock flashing the time 23:45 before he staggers towards the living room to get to the banging door.

Chanyeol stumbles inside as he swings the door close.

“You would have woken up my neighbours—“

Chanyeol doesn’t let him finish, but pushes Sehun to the wall pressing his mouth on him. Sehun feels the burn of the alcohol as it rolls off Chanyeol’s tongue and seeps down his throat with every push of his tongue against Sehun’s own. 

“Chanyeol—” he tries to speak but he cuts him off with another rough kiss. Sehun squirms in his hold trying to free himself when Chanyeol’s fingers digging in his waist, probably bruising him. 

“Chanyeol you are hurting me” Sehun pushes Chanyeol away from him, his other hand instinctively goes to his stomach.

“You don’t like me kissing you?” Chanyeol’s voice slurs slightly.

“No no I do, but it’s just you were being rough” Sehun replies shakily. 

“Well you like it” Smiling Chanyeol leans over him and licks Sehun’s bottom lip before pulling it between his teeth. 

Sehun moves his face away and places his palm on Chanyeol’s chest shoving at him again. His body feels too fatigued to keep up with this. 

“There is something I need to tell you”

“We can talk later” Chanyeol ignores him, his urgent finger’s struggling to pull of Sehun’s shirt. 

“I am pregnant” Sehun blurts out, his voice probably too loud and uncontrolled that Chanyeol freezes, his hands still clutching the material.

“What?” Chanyeol asks hoarsely looking perplexed. 

“Yah I am...” Sehun trails off his stomach twists with panic, “ It’s your’s”

Hearing that Chanyeol takes a step back, his mouth parted a little in disbelief, he looks at Sehun with widened eyes. 

“How do you know it’s mine?” Chanyeol questions suspiciously. The drunkenness from his voice disappearing completely. 

Sehun’s eyes dart back at him surprised, Chanyeol looking at him with full of doubt makes his mouth close shut. 

Getting no response Chanyeol adds flatly “it’s not like we are exclusive or anything”

Sehun wants to ask if it means Chanyeol is sleeping with other people then he decides otherwise, scared of the answer. 

“I have only been with you...since we met” the thought being with anyone never even crossed his mind. 

“When did you know”

“The day I texted you to meet me...” 

“And you decided to hide it from me? Why?” Chanyeol spits out angrily.

“I was scared” Sehun mumbles looking away from Chanyeol’s stony expression and glaring eyes. 

“How the fuck did this happen?” Chanyeol enquires in an accusing tone. 

“I don’t know, it’s not like i did it on purpose” Sehun shakes his dejectedly.  

“Fuck Fuck” Chanyeol grits his teeth running his hands through his hair frustratedly, his face contorted with annoyance. 

Seeing him so upset Sehun heaves a sigh and walks towards him, he stretched his hand to touch Chanyeol face to soothe him but he jerks his hand away making Sehun wince. 

 

“Get rid of it” Chanyeol remarks with a blank expression.

Sehun didn’t expect the other to take this news with happiness but Chanyeol’s words start constricting his throat as if someone has blocked his airways. 

“Why?” 

“Are you really that stupid?I have a whole career to make a kid doesn’t fit anywhere” Chanyeol snaps at him.  

 _Maybe_ _he_ _is_ _stupid_.

Sehun’s features buckles just slightly before he speaks “It’s ours...”

“So? People make impulsive mistakes like this all the time and they get rid of it...you and I both aren’t ready for this” Chanyeol replies icily keeping his eyes steady resting on Sehun’s face. 

“I love you” Sehun has already completely bared himself, he feels like he doesn’t have anything to lose tonight.

Chanyeol looks away instantly choosing to face the window maintaing his indifferent tone he says “Sehun you can’t just drop a bomb on me and try to make the situation okay, you know we aren’t supposed to be like this”

The words break a little more inside, the pieces becoming shards. Chanyeol chose to ignore his confession. 

“I know you didn’t want to put a label on us, but I have been in love with you all this time, you make me want things I can’t have” Sehun’s voice sounds brittle. 

The silence is too loud, it is pounding in his ear’s while he waits for Chanyeol to speak, is there something like too much rejection?

Chanyeol turns around and his gaze flickering  in the room, “I can’t do this, am sorry”

Chanyeol picked the easiest way out when all other options dried up. 

“Please” Sehun whispers in a failed attempt watching them fall apart.  

Did Chanyeol even see he is probably one word away from breaking down completely.

“We both want different things, I can’t, I need to leave” Chanyeol’s voice wavers, his words fall out of his mouth too fast wanting to escape the situation not once he looks at Sehun in the eye.

 

It’s funny how a relationship is between two people yet one person get’s to decide when to end it.

 

“Am sorry” Chanyeol says before abruptly walking away. Sehun stands there, his mind failing to function, staring after him.

 

....

 

“Sehun?”

 

Sehun’sfingers immediately stops playing with the straw in his drink, he doesn’t turn around but his body stiffens hearing the voice, he misses him everyday with the kind of sadness that sinks in his bones making him ache.

He fixes his gaze on the wooden varnished counter top hardening his jaw.

“Sehun please?” The voice is a lot softer now, closer.

He knows he can’t avoid anyway, Sehun looks up to his side and he feels like his heart is being squeezed all over again, just seeing him hurts. 

Under the dim lights Chanyeol’s features look softer even more beautiful, his brown eyes speaking, a few strands of his inky hair falling on his forehead. 

“Hey” Sehun acknowledges nodding his head. 

“What are you doing here?” Chanyeol gives him a quizzical look. 

“My friend is supposed to perform with the live band today...I just came to add some moral support” Sehun gives a small smile.

“Ohh well I hang around with my friends here all the time, I have never see you”

“Because this is my first time, and probably the last am not exactly the pub type you know” he adjusts his seat out of habit and immediately he feels Chanyeol’s intent stare on him, Sehun pulls his cardigan down not that he can hide anything he knows he is showing even with loose clothes.

“How are you?” Chanyeol’s voice sounds deep and genuine. 

Sehun wants to laugh at Chanyeol’s misplaced concern when he didn’t even contact him once after he walked out of his apartment 3 months ago. 

“It’s not like you care anyway” there is no sarcasm in his tone but Sehun cant help but ignore the hurt flashing over Chanyeol’s eyes or maybe it’s just him imagining things because that’s what he has been doing all this while filling his brain with illusions. 

Chanyeol reaches out to touch his hand which is still gripping on the glass of his untouched drink. 

“I am sorry” Chanyeol murmurs in a low voice.

“Don’t” Sehun jerks his hand away, “Don’t say sorry after what you did” he bites down on his lower lip not wanting to cry, not in front of him, not anymore.

“That night when you told me I panicked and I left, it was all too much for me to take in and I kept trying to distract myself being with other people but it didn’t feel right because they aren’t you” Chanyeol looks at him with something between a pained and apologetic expression.  

 _But_ _i_ _wasn’t_ _even_ _enough_ _for_ _you_?

“While you were busy kissing strangers I was spending nights crying myself to sleep, feeling helpless, my friends took me to the doctors appointment’s when it should have been you, you left me when I needed you the most” Sehun starts to feel numb, he keeps blinking away his tears. 

“Please let me fix it” Chanyeol sounds almost desperate. 

“I already let you hurt me once, I can’t do that now. I can’t keep watering a dead flower expecting it to grow...it’s over”

Sehun slowly climbs out of his seat, Chanyeol stays silent, staring at him, his wide eyes becoming glossy with tears.

Then Chanyeol rushes to his side, grabbing his wrist he turns him around. Sehun tries to wiggle his hand out but Chanyeol’s grip just tightens on him, so he stops letting his eyes wander somewhere over the bar avoiding him. 

“Sehun don’t go” Chanyeol pleads.

Sehun chuckles drily shaking his head.

Oh how the tables have turned. He is saying everything that Sehun once would have died just to hear from Chanyeol’s mouth. 

Chanyeol takes a step closer causingSehun to flinch a little closing his eyes instantly. 

He feels a palm firmly resting on his stomach, “this is mine too” 

“Yet you wanted me to get rid of it” Sehun opens his eyes, he feels tired to even sound bitter.

Chanyeol’s expression crumples with that. Those same lips that’s Sehun couldn’t get enough of are slightly trembling “Am sorry”

“I am not supposed to stress myself and you are weighing me down right now so please let me go” Sehun removes his finger’s away from his stomach.

Chanyeol nods his head mumbling something so incoherent that Sehun can’t hear. His other hand still held in Chanyeol’s hold.

“Can you at least forgive me?” Chanyeol’s voice cracks there are silent tears falling down his cheeks.

All Sehun wants to do is reach out and wipe them away from his beautiful face.

Sehun licks his lips swallowing a lump, “Chanyeol you broke my heart even after that I kept hoping that you would comeback for me..for us” Sehun touches his baby smiling sadly, tasting his own salty tears “not once you bothered to know If I am okay. I was hopelessly in love with you, I still am even after everything I still love you but I can’t forgive you not now...maybe _someday_ ”

With that Chanyeol’sgrip slowly loosens and his fingers fall slack like he is defeated.

Sehun glances at him and his insides shatters a little because Chanyeol looks fragile he wonders he has grown thinner because his cheekbones look more prominent. 

“Take care Chanyeol” saying Sehun turns around to leave even though he hear the live band already performing but he can’t wait one more minute here, being in the same place with Chanyeol feels too overwhelming.

 

“Let me at least take you home” Chanyeol speaks up from behind. 

“Thank you but I can do it myself, am used to it” Without sparing another glance Sehun leaves thinking if Chanyeol would follow him, fight for him...but he doesn’t. 

 

Sehun steps out of the bar and takes in a few deep breaths to fill his lungs. He then forces himself to the car so he can drive away, away from Chanyeol before Sehun ends up losing his self control to run back to those inviting arms.

Sehun hopes that Chanyeol can atleast understand that walking away from him like this is the hardest thing he had to do. 

....

 

‘It was really nice to meet you, goodbye  
It's high time I quit wondering why  
'Cause I have lost all that I can from my side  
And when you think of me again, no  
I tried, I tried, goodbye’

‘One day I won't regret this  
Oh, how I want to believe that's true  
Once I pick up my parts I broke on you  
I'll get used to the idea  
It's not you, not you, goodbye’

-Goodbye (Greg Laswell)

**Author's Note:**

> Did I just write an almost smut that too angsty af ?! Yes I did :/
> 
> Also I think the ambiguous end kind of fits the story but I might add an alternative ending *confused*


End file.
